"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard (The Office)
This month marks 10 years since my family and I moved from our hometown, Donetsk. I find myself reminiscing about the city I once knew so well. The city where I spent my childhood and early adolescence, made life-long friends, built memories I cherish, and developed the skills I carry with me to this day. The craziest part is that this is the place where I have lived the longest in my life, and yet it feels like a distant memory.
There, I learned to roller skate in the park next to where I lived, and I remember falling down and scrapping my knees and elbows as I was uncontrollably accelerating on the track. I spent countless hours in the biggest amusement center with my friends, playing arcade games, ice skating, and catching movies.
In my teenage years, I picked up a tennis racket and played regularly with other kids on the courts or simply bounced the ball against the wall in one of the tennis clubs. Later, with my mom's initial push, I got my first exposure to dancing, where I learned the basics of hip-hop, locking, and even vogue (😅). Our dance group would often perform at a local theater where the studio was based, and I still remember the thrill of traveling to a national dance competition in Odessa back in 2012.
And of course, I will never forget the brainstorming session with my classmates in this cafe, coming up with joke after joke for the school comedy show we were putting together. What a time that was!
Many places I frequented look brutal, daunting, silly, and uninviting through my adult eyes. But as a child I was not bothered by its brutalism or grayness – I was too busy having fun and making memories. Unfortunately, most of the places and buildings look exactly the same as they did 10 years ago, as if time has stopped there. In fact, all Google Maps street views are from 2011, so I am not even sure if some of these places even still exist.
What seemed as a temporary relocation, in anticipation of the dust settling, turned into permanent change that brought major uncertainty and distress at the time. Since the most recent Ukrainian Revolution in late 2013-early 2014, anti-government demonstrations took over in Donbas. The "peaceful" demonstrations escalated, and the Russian-backed separatists seized local administrations, leading to a full-scale military conflict between Ukrainian forces and self-formed separatist groups.
Many people were forced to flee their homes, shut down their businesses, and relocate their families to different parts of the country and beyond. And those who stayed faced the harsh realities of war, economic stagnation, and isolation.
Despite what the region has become, the nostalgia and romanticization of those carefree days in Donetsk is a recurring theme for me. Especially now, living a life in an environment so different from what it was back then. Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if none of this had happened and my family had stayed in Donetsk. Would I have left my parents' nest early on and moved somewhere far away, as I did when I left for Canada? Would the same ambitious opportunities have presented themselves to me? Would my life and the lives of everyone who moved out be better than they are now? The spiral of hypothetical questions without answers goes on and on.
I am unlikely to ever set foot in Donetsk again, but the memories of the places and people I knew will always be with me.
Where have you all been these past 10 years? :)